In Which I Am Fearful And Hopeful

   I know that this is my first post in a very, very long time. I apologize for that, but as I'm sure you know life has a habit of getting in the way sometimes. Despite the lack of blog activity, I have not been idle. Far from it. Though, I will admit that life stuff has taken up the majority of my time. But, sometimes, that can't be helped.

   My writing time has largely been spent working on a fanfiction that was begun in attempt to get me out of a writing rut. Did it work? Yes it did. And, as you know, I am a fangirl, so needless to say I've been having a lot of fun with this piece and the characters that are so dear to my heart. An added bonus is the positive and, at times, critical feedback on my work. It's a huge encouragement to me on both fronts.


   As for the rest of my writing time, it's been spent taking apart and re-working my Southern Urban Fantasy novel mentioned in my About Me page. The sad truth of the matter was that the story was becoming too bloated and the flow was gone. So, I decided to step back, work on something else for a while, and then begin again. This strategy has helped. I've begun to re-work my characters and fall in love with them again, and the plot line is beginning to look more and more streamlined as the days go by. Hopefully, I'll be past my sporadic note taking on sheets of blank paper soon and will be able to move on to actual outlining. It's a step in the right direction I feel and I am very excited.


   Now that I've caught you up on everything, it's time for me to move on to something else in this post.


   Recently, I flipped through a copy of Poets & Writers magazine at the bookstore. In the past I actually haven't ever looked through writing magazines (they've never crossed my mind I suppose), but the cover happened to catch my eye. The issue's focus was on writing contests. Of course I've heard of writing contests before, though I haven't worked up the courage to enter one myself- I'll get there eventually.


   But what really piqued my interest was the section interviewing different editors and literary agents and whether or not contest wins matter to them. Overall, it seemed that the opinion was that while they do care that a potential client was a few accomplishments under their belt, it doesn't necessarily make them an automatic shoe in. So, I thought to myself, okay looking at my writing career (or lack thereof) at the moment, I still have a 50/50 chance.


   As I kept on reading, however, the more discouraged I felt. Not only that, I felt inadequate. That, my friends, is a horrible feeling. It seemed that the majority of them were saying that not only do they look at contest wins and other such accolades, but also MFA degrees. Reading that my heart sank down deep into my chest and I could feel the tears behind my eyes. I know that may sound melodramatic, but it's the truth.


   While I can honestly say that I am educated, I cannot say that I am an educated woman. By that I mean this: I don't have any form of college education. This fact has been pointed out to me by a few people (as if I were not already aware) as a type of judgement. It's not very common for a woman my age to not have some form of degree- or two. All I can say in my defense was that I felt that that particular path was not meant for me, that G-d had other plans. I can already hear the scoffs- it's nothing new to me.


   Back to the point. My fear is that my submissions will be looked over because I don't have a college education or letters behind my my name. I genuinely and sincerely feel that I have a G-d given talent. I've felt that since I was a little girl. But will that be overlooked because of the reasons above? I suppose that only time will tell.


   I can only hope that my seemingly round about way of doing things will pay off in the end. Until then all I can do is keep plugging away.


Aimee
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