Fear and Loathing

In my last post I covered the...adventure...that was November and December. Now we're reaching the end of January (which, to me, has seemed to be never ending), and I'm sure you're all chomping at the bit to know how I'm getting on. There was a smidge of sarcasm there, did you catch it?


So, January. January, January, January. January has been interesting on the writing front. Have I worked on my Urban Fantasy novel? Yeah, that'd be a no. You'd think that'd be absolutely horrid wouldn't you? Surprisingly, I'm alright with it.


Contrary to what you may think, I actually have done some work- on a completely new story. An idea for a new story came to me, and I just completely ran with it. It totally blindsided me, and shocked me to be honest. Why? It's something completely different than everything I've ever written ever. All of the stories that I've written in my life (this includes the laughably horrid ones that I wrote when I was 12 and 13) have been fantasy/sci-fi/supernatural/paranormal in some form or fashion. This story that I'm working on now is angsty/drama/romance Mainstream Fiction.


I know what you're thinking: Who are you and what have you done with Aimee? My answer: Dunno. But I really feel that there's something to this story. In practically one sitting I finished the rough outline for the entire novel. That is a first for me. In fact when I had finished I honestly sat at my kitchen table and stared at my notebook with nothing short of complete shock. I could have cried. I finished the draft of chapter one a few days later, along with half of chapter two. In fact, I banked 1,509 words in two hours. I celebrated with a cup of hot tea. That's how I roll.


But, even with all of the excitement I have over this story, I still have a good bit of fear. It's not fear that the story isn't good, it's the judgement that will most likely come with it.


Let me give a little bit of background on this. I'm a Believer. I belong to a Christian Writer's group. Generally it is expected for someone who falls in this category to write something fluffy and G-PG rated. Maybe I'm making a broad generalization, I don't know. What I do know is that I don't work that way. As a writer, even a fiction writer, I feel that I have to write the truth. The sad truth of it is that we don't live in a G-PG rated world. People have problems and issues. They mess up and do things that they shouldn't. They struggle. I can't gloss over these things, not even in an Urban Fantasy setting.

So, back to the whole judgement thing. It's as though I live in constant fear that the people I know that share my beliefs will read my work and will wonder what the heck is wrong with me. And speaking as someone who has had other people stare down their noses at me and be generally condescending, the whole business is very intimidating.


I know that I shouldn't let it worry me and get me down. I am an artist and I have to express myself. Some people are going to love my work and some are going to hate it with the white hot intensity of 1,000 burning suns. I suppose this is the part where I just roll with the punches and walk away from random explosions like a total bad ass. In other words, put on my big girl knickers and deal with it.


All that being said, I really can't wait to continue working on this story. I've even got a writing soundtrack for it- lots of Lana Del Rey to really set the tone.

Oh! In other news, I've ordered a book called 'The Writer's Guide to Psychology', and I absolutely can't wait for it to come it! I think it's going to help me a lot- especially with this new story. As soon as I read it I'll most likely post a review thing-a-ma-bob on here.

Ta!

Aimee
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